“I don’t belong” is the earliest thought I can remember believing. Now, I don’t know whether I borrowed that thought or it was born in me from an early childhood experience, I just knew it was the foundation on which I lived this life. I can remember feeling confused and lost from all the chaos that was happening in my home as a child. I became a chameleon who would shapeshift into what you wanted me to be so I could relieve myself of the pain I was experiencing, to stay as far away from myself as possible, and to stay safe. At 14 I found alcohol, it took the edge off the pain but the undercurrent of not belonging was still there.
I sobered up in 1984 and started my journey back home to myself. In AA the story of who I thought I was began to crumble. At 9 months sober, wanting to die, I placed myself in a treatment center. I had the 12 steps as a new foundation and I found myself still thinking I needed to be fixed, still thinking I was different from you, still looking outside myself for the answers. I participated in one workshop after another trying to find what would “fix” me until The Work found me in 2004.
Through inquiry I found there was nothing to be fixed. In identifying and investigating my thoughts I unravel patterned beliefs that have caused all the fear, stress, suffering, and separation that lived in me. With each unraveling I have freed myself from the illusion that I am, my family is, and you are anything other than love. When a thought shows up that keeps me from this, I meet myself with compassion and take it to inquiry. The Work gives me the ability to life live in this present moment, true belonging, enabling me to belong to everything…loving all that is.
I have found what it means to truly serve and find great joy in sharing The Work with anyone. My work/passion has been working with caregivers, Elders, 12-step program participants, and those affected by cancer. I have been a caregiver for over 25 years, have my Masters in Gerontology and experience sobriety one day at a time for over 30 yrs.
I also use The Work providing Care for The Caregiver workshops. Please contact me for more information.
It would be an honor to facilitate The Work with you. I am available to in person, by phone, or skype.
In Gratitude and Love,