In 2010 a book written by Byron Katie came to me: I Need Your Love—Is That True? I read it in two days. I started to practice The Work and I knew that this was what I had been looking for: a way out of confusion, fear, and suffering. My body, weak and full of pain, began to heal.
During my life I had read more than 1000 books. Good books with lots of counselling for life. And yet—most of them seemed to be theoretical for me. I couldn’t implement all the wisdom in my life. The knowledge was more in my mind than in my heart. And I used my “being in the knowing” to judge others, to be superior (see myself as better), to not lose the ground under my feet, to manipulate, to look for love and appreciation ….
From a very early age I believed the purpose of my life was to be unhappy. All the luck was always for others, not for me. A deep sadness was permanently present inside me. And I felt like an outsider in life. I thought I was kicked out of the house and was unloved and unlovable.
In order to hide all the shadows and dark sides of my life, my efforts to be perfect were enormous. Not being perfect meant that I was vulnerable. In those times I believed that to be vulnerable meant I could not survive. I tried hard to be perfect in my private life, and in my job as an architect, and it cost me everything, even my family. What I “knew” was ok (and I won’t miss it) however the practical implementation into my heart, the deep conversion in my life was lacking.
Since I do The Work I love being vulnerable. It brings me closer to myself and creates a deep connection with others—which was always my desire. I don’t read so many books anymore. My inner wisdom has become more clear, sadness is more alive, pain is more soft ….
With The Work I found a practical tool to transform all the theoretical knowledge (acquired through reading) in my daily life. I experienced many different kinds of meditation in my life, therapies, workshops … The Work is the most practical way for inner peace and freedom.
In doing The Work I realized that my family’s function was to be who they were. That was their love. I was kicking myself and them out of home.
Two things are especially important to me:
- I learn to see what hurts me and what doesn’t.
What hurts is my own behaviour when I say “yes” and mean “no”, when I close my heart, when I judge others, when I give advice, when I teach other people in a manner of “I knowing it better”, when I forget to be a mother to myself, when I am absolutely sure about my facts / concepts, when I try to avoid suffering, when I cannot see that all I believe could be totally different, when I blame others for being unhappy, when I see myself as a victim, when I believe my happiness is dependent on something, when I can’t see the innocence in myself and others …
What doesn’t hurt is the opposite of all these things. The Work has shown me that it is never the person, incident or issue, (anything outside of me) that causes me pain. It’s what I believe about it that causes the suffering.
- I learn to love.
I have gotten a feeling for what love is and could be (for me and others).
With The Work I realize how that feels, especially in answering question four (“who would I be without…”)—so much love arises in me for the person and the situation as it is. Sometimes I feel so connected with what happens. The Work helps me more and more to become a loving and clear person. The Work makes me aware of daily living and working in love. Now I am much more gentle with myself most of the time. I have found that if I answer the 4 questions and turnarounds sincerely, with an open mind, there is nothing that does not become more peaceful and clear. The Work has given me the way to come home—to my true nature—the loving Maria.
With The Work I got a treasure which includes all that was and is important for me: Meditation, God (whatever that may be), stillness, listening, friends and feeling connected with others—even though I live alone. The Work didn’t change my life suddenly—it penetrated slowly through all my open doors. For me it is a lifelong process – “and I love it”!
In my experience The Work doesn’t exclude anything (there is no issue you cannot do The Work on), it is not dependent on anything, gives and creates freedom, and it connects with the love we are.
I am deeply grateful.
And sometimes there is just joy in my life w i t h o u t any reason!!!
All your stressful thoughts, no matter what the content is, are invited to The Work, all is welcome.
I do The Work with individuals and groups, in English and German, in person and worldwide, by Skype and I offer custom workshops and retreats.
If you would like to “work” with me please contact me to set up an appointment.
Phone: 0043 (0) 664/9604200 (Austria, Europe) / whatsapp