A man who is convinced that he can't make a living doing what he really wants to do questions his crippling beliefs through The Work with Byron Katie.
0:00:00.000,0:00:06.000 [Text on screen]: The Work of Byron Katie on: “I’m not living up to my full potential.” Part 1 0:00:06.000,0:00:08.000 Byron Katie: So what did you write? 0:00:08.000,0:00:12.000 Man: Okay. 0:00:12.000,0:00:22.000 Man: I wrote that, “I’m frustrated at me because I don’t know how to make a living that is true to who I am.” 0:00:22.000,0:00:28.000 “Everything I want to do is selfish and doesn’t pay the rent. I want me to find clarity. . .” 0:00:28.000,0:00:33.000 Byron Katie: So, “you need to pay the rent.” Is it true? 0:00:33.000,0:00:36.000 Man: No. 0:00:36.000,0:00:40.000 Byron Katie: You say “no” like it’s the right answer. Consider that. 0:00:40.000,0:00:43.000 Man: Well; no. 0:00:43.000,0:00:56.000 Byron Katie: Are you all considering that? Whether the word is mortgage or rent. Does anyone in world “need to pay their rent?” 0:00:56.000,0:01:01.000 All you landlords, are you sweating? 0:01:01.000,0:01:04.000 “You need to pay the rent.” Is it true? 0:01:04.000,0:01:16.000 Imagine what it would be like without that thought when your rent’s due, when they’re coming to evict you. 0:01:16.000,0:01:24.000 How do you react when you think that thought and you, you don’t have the money for it? That’s the point. 0:01:24.000,0:01:34.000 You don’t have the money for it or you have the money for it and you’re just too terrified to let it go because you’re going to need it for the future. 0:01:34.000,0:01:41.000 How many of you have been in that position? 0:01:41.000,0:01:47.000 You know, from there, how do you react when you think the thought? 0:01:47.000,0:01:54.000 Man: If I can’t pay the rent I feel like I can’t take care of myself. Like I’m a failure. 0:01:54.000,0:01:57.000 Byron Katie: And then what emotions happen in that? 0:01:57.000,0:02:05.000 Man: I feel embarrassed. Then I feel just like a second-class citizen. 0:02:05.000,0:02:16.000 Byron Katie: And do you see images of yourself in the future having to ask someone you care about for help? 0:02:16.000,0:02:21.000 Man: I don’t have to go to the future to see that. Yeah, I have asked. 0:02:21.000,0:02:28.000 Byron Katie: And do you see stories of, I mean, images of you having to do it again? 0:02:28.000,0:02:30.000 Man: And I don’t like it. I push it away. 0:02:30.000,0:02:36.000 Byron Katie: Yeah and that’s the embarrassment you feel because you’re witnessing those images. 0:02:36.000,0:02:46.000 Those images are what, I mean like, like it has babies. Those are the babies that hold up the original concept. 0:02:46.000,0:02:54.000 “I have to pay the rent.” So, it’s not right or wrong. It’s all about noticing where your suffering comes from. 0:02:54.000,0:03:02.000 Man: It threatens my sense of independence that I can take care of myself. 0:03:02.000,0:03:09.000 Byron Katie: Honey, would you write down “I can’t take care of myself.” So, let’s turn it around. “I have to pay the rent.” 0:03:09.000,0:03:10.000 Man: “I don’t have to pay the rent.” 0:03:10.000,0:03:13.000 Byron Katie: So, give me an example of why that’s true; when you don’t have money for it. 0:03:13.000,0:03:18.000 Man: I could work at McDonald’s if I needed to. That’s … 0:03:18.000,0:03:20.000 Byron Katie: “I’m willing to?” 0:03:20.000,0:03:21.000 Man: “I’m willing to.” 0:03:21.000,0:03:23.000 Byron Katie: “ I look forward to.” 0:03:23.000,0:03:25.000 Man: “I look forward to. . .” 0:03:25.000,0:03:27.000 Byron Katie: “I look forward to working at McDonald’s.” 0:03:27.000,0:03:28.000 Man: “I look forward to paying; working at McDonald’s.” Yeah. 0:03:28.000,0:03:31.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. You know, it could be a lot. . . 0:03:31.000,0:03:32.000 Man: It’s kind of true. 0:03:32.000,0:03:42.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. I love you’re catching on to that. My goodness sake. Wherever you can serve. 0:03:42.000,0:03:51.000 Man: Sometimes I say my dream job is just to work at Home Depot and get paid and to have some free time. 0:03:51.000,0:03:53.000 Yeah. I’m not joking. Yeah. 0:03:53.000,0:03:58.000 Byron Katie: I get it. I’m not joking either. 0:03:58.000,0:04:00.000 Man: Yeah. I can see that. 0:04:00.000,0:04:04.000 Byron Katie: So, let’s have that conservation. You be your family and all those people you want to impress 0:04:04.000,0:04:07.000 and I’m going to be you working at Home Depot. Okay. 0:04:07.000,0:04:09.000 Byron Katie: Okay, so, ask me where I work. 0:04:09.000,0:04:11.000 Man: “So, where do you work now?” 0:04:11.000,0:04:15.000 Byron Katie: “Home Depot.” 0:04:15.000,0:04:22.000 Man: “Oh. You’re not really living up to your potential.” 0:04:22.000,0:04:26.000 Byron Katie: “You know, you could be right.” 0:04:26.000,0:04:35.000 Man: “I think you should come, come home and live here and we’ll find a way for you to get a real job.” 0:04:35.000,0:04:41.000 Byron Katie: “You know, that’s lovely and you know, I really like my job here.” 0:04:41.000,0:04:47.000 “And thank you for that; you’re so incredibly generous.” 0:04:47.000,0:04:55.000 “You’ve always been there in that way for me. I’m so grateful.” 0:04:55.000,0:04:59.000 “You want to hear about my job?” 0:04:59.000,0:05:00.000 Man: “Yeah.” 0:05:00.000,0:05:11.000 Byron Katie: “I love my job and I love the hours and the people there and I’m really good at following directions, so I never have to think.” 0:05:11.000,0:05:21.000 “You know, it’s like heaven and they pay me. I get to run all those tools and serve people and it’s like a workout. Lifting all those things.” 0:05:21.000,0:05:33.000 “I stay healthy. I mean, in and out, so it’s not like having to sit all day. It’s great!” 0:05:33.000,0:05:36.000 Man: “You’re sure you’re not; you shouldn’t be doing something more important?” 0:05:36.000,0:05:48.000 Byron Katie: “Well, you know, it’s very important to me that I like what I do and that I have plenty of spare time to; to live a balanced life.” 0:05:48.000,0:05:52.000 Man: That could be me saying that. That sounds like me. 0:05:52.000,0:06:03.000 Byron Katie: Isn’t it. So, you have a job you don’t like. Hours you don’t like. An apartment maybe that you can’t afford; I don’t know. 0:06:03.000,0:06:09.000 All because you don’t want someone to say, “You’re not living up to your full potential.” 0:06:09.000,0:06:12.000 Man: Sounds pretty silly, doesn’t it? 0:06:12.000,0:06:17.000 Byron Katie: Once we break it down, yes. 0:06:17.000,0:06:18.000 Man: Yeah. 0:06:18.000,0:06:19.000 Byron Katie: Terrifying. 0:06:19.000,0:06:24.000 Man: Yeah, I’m terrified of what others think of me, especially my family. 0:06:24.000,0:06:26.000 Byron Katie: And not living up to your full potential. 0:06:26.000,0:06:28.000 Man: Yeah. I’m terrified of that. 0:06:28.000,0:06:36.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. So, how would you even know what it is? Whatever job you take on, are you sure that’s your full potential? 0:06:36.000,0:06:45.000 Man: That’s why I’m stuck; because I don’t know. 0:06:45.000,0:06:51.000 It’s like I have to be sure it’s going to be something that’s going to live up to my full potential before I’ll even start it. 0:06:51.000,0:06:56.000 Byron Katie: So, whatever you take on, do it as well as you can and that’s your full potential. 0:06:56.000,0:07:07.000 That’s how I do the dishes. That’s how I scrub the floor. It’s how I; it’s how I am with my children, my husband. I do the best that I can. 0:07:07.000,0:07:12.000 Byron Katie: And that’s my full potential in the moment and it’s good with me. 0:07:12.000,0:07:29.000 It’s not maybe so hot for others; but it is good for me and so, full potential is doing whatever you do in the moment, isn’t it? It’s not later? 0:07:29.000,0:07:36.000 So, you know, they could miss that you are living up to your full potential, but it’s important that you don’t miss it. 0:07:36.000,0:07:40.000 Man: I see that and I’m afraid to act on that, because … 0:07:40.000,0:07:43.000 Byron Katie: Because they might say you’re not living up to your full potential. 0:07:43.000,0:07:44.000 Man: Yeah. Yeah. 0:07:44.000,0:07:52.000 Byron Katie: Okay. So, when I say “three,” everyone say to him out loud, “You’re not living up to your full potential” 0:07:52.000,0:07:57.000 so he can get this out of his system. I want to see if you die or not. 1, 2, 3. . . 0:07:57.000,0:08:09.000 Audience and Byron Katie: “You’re not living up to your full potential.” 0:08:09.000,0:08:10.000 Man: That was … 0:08:10.000,0:08:11.000 Byron Katie: How you doing? 0:08:11.000,0:08:13.000 Man: I’m still sitting here. 0:08:13.000,0:08:15.000 Byron Katie: It’s shocking isn’t it? 0:08:15.000,0:08:18.000 Man: Yeah. 0:08:18.000,0:08:25.000 Byron Katie: Now, as you sit there, are you, are you; is your body comfortable enough? Is it okay with you? 0:08:25.000,0:08:26.000 Man: Not too bad. 0:08:26.000,0:08:31.000 Byron Katie: Okay. So, this is your full potential. 0:08:31.000,0:08:32.000 Man: Yeah. 0:08:32.000,0:08:34.000 Byron Katie: You’re doing it in every moment. 0:08:34.000,0:08:35.000 Man: This is it. 0:08:35.000,0:08:37.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. Sit with friends. 0:08:37.000,0:08:39.000 Man: Takes some of the pressure off. 0:08:39.000,0:08:46.000 Byron Katie: Well, reality has a way about it, as opposed to imagination. 0:08:46.000,0:08:47.000 Man: Yeah. 0:08:47.000,0:08:56.000 Byron Katie: Imagination, not keeping up with reality, is not that comfortable. 0:08:56.000,0:09:02.000 You know, if you had the biggest job in the world and the whole world was saying, “You’re so wonderful at this.” 0:09:02.000,0:09:09.000 To your own mind you could still believe that you’re not living up to your full potential and you don’t like that job. 0:09:09.000,0:09:10.000 Man: Yeah. 0:09:10.000,0:09:14.000 Byron Katie: In other words, you’re going to take that belief with you no matter where the job is. No matter what the job is. 0:09:14.000,0:09:21.000 Because it’s what you’re believing you take with you. It has nothing to do with the outside thing: a job. 0:09:21.000,0:09:26.000 And if I am doing the dishes and I have the thought, “I’m not living up to my full potential,” 0:09:26.000,0:09:39.000 I may notice that there’s a dish I didn’t rinse as well as I could have and I may rinse it again, or not and it may occur to me 0:09:39.000,0:09:49.000 I don’t care that much about my full potential; that I’m doing the best that I can and I accept it. 0:09:49.000,0:09:56.000 Or I may find that I pick up the dish, rinse it again and it’s just as comfortable. 0:09:56.000,0:09:58.000 So, continue to read. 0:09:58.000,0:10:03.000 Man: “Everything I want to do is selfish and doesn’t, and doesn’t pay the rent.” 0:10:03.000,0:10:06.000 Byron Katie: What do you mean by, “Everything you want to do is selfish?” 0:10:06.000,0:10:10.000 Man: I really want to question everything and find the truth. 0:10:10.000,0:10:13.000 Byron Katie: So, you need to take some time out. 0:10:13.000,0:10:14.000 Man: That’s what I want. 0:10:14.000,0:10:15.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. 0:10:15.000,0:10:22.000 Man: And that, in my mind, doesn’t look good from everyone else’s point of view. 0:10:22.000,0:10:24.000 Byron Katie: And yours? 0:10:24.000,0:10:28.000 Man: If I don’t look at everyone else, it looks; it sounds like heaven. 0:10:28.000,0:10:31.000 Byron Katie: And whose life is it? 0:10:31.000,0:10:33.000 Man: Mine. 0:10:33.000,0:10:39.000, Byron Katie: And how you doing; living your life out of what other people want you to live? How’s that working for you? 0:10:39.000,0:10:40.000 Man: Miserable. 0:10:40.000,0:10:46.000 Byron Katie: Why don’t you just ask the one that matters, yourself, and try that people. 0:10:46.000,0:10:48.000 [Text on screen]: THE WORK of Byron Katie 0:10:48.000,0:10:52.000 Turnaround House, The School for The Work, The New-Years Cleanse, The No-Body Intensive, Videos, downloads and more, www.thework.com 0:10:52.000,0:10:58.000 Please select part 2, The Work of Byron Katie on “I’m not living up to my full potential.”