Positive Thinking and the Bathroom Mirror | The Work

Positive Thinking and the Bathroom Mirror

Video Description: 
"My body is unlovable," a woman says. "How do you react when you believe that thought?" Byron Katie asks her. "I have a hard time breathing," the woman says. "I'd rather be dead." Watch as this brave woman questions her stressful thoughts about what is too fat and what is unacceptable. "If you believe in basic kindness, it's your job to catch those thoughts and get real," Katie says. "Not get positive, get real, because positive thinking doesn't cut it when you look in the mirror."
Transcript: 
1 00:00:00,460 --> 00:00:03,101 So, your body is-- What was the word? 2 00:00:03,126 --> 00:00:05,679 -"Unlovable". -Unlovable. 3 00:00:05,932 --> 00:00:07,616 Is that true? 4 00:00:07,670 --> 00:00:08,940 No. 5 00:00:09,034 --> 00:00:10,763 And what happens, 6 00:00:10,788 --> 00:00:13,128 how do you react when you believe the thought 7 00:00:13,153 --> 00:00:14,892 "My body is unlovable"? 8 00:00:14,917 --> 00:00:16,915 I have a hard time breathing. 9 00:00:17,987 --> 00:00:20,375 It feels like something is sitting on my chest, 10 00:00:21,694 --> 00:00:23,257 stuck in my throat. 11 00:00:23,625 --> 00:00:24,704 (clears throat) 12 00:00:25,388 --> 00:00:27,206 I'd rather be dead. 13 00:00:30,413 --> 00:00:31,531 And who would you be 14 00:00:31,556 --> 00:00:34,131 without the thought "My body is unlovable"? 15 00:00:38,810 --> 00:00:42,011 Oh, my God, I'd have, like, this incredible life. 16 00:00:42,563 --> 00:00:44,451 I have great friends. 17 00:00:45,035 --> 00:00:47,638 Look at you without that thought, how flexible you are, 18 00:00:47,663 --> 00:00:50,446 how sexy you are, how beautiful you are. 19 00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:51,794 And keep your eyes closed. 20 00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:54,461 Look at your belly in front of the mirror. 21 00:00:54,561 --> 00:00:56,440 Look at your legs-- 22 00:00:56,465 --> 00:00:57,932 Look at you. 23 00:00:57,957 --> 00:01:00,120 Drop your story and look. 24 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:04,776 Look at that flexible body. Are you strong? 25 00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:07,246 -Yeah. -Yeah. 26 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:10,096 -I'm happy. -Free. 27 00:01:10,715 --> 00:01:11,459 Exactly. 28 00:01:11,493 --> 00:01:14,470 "My body is unlovable", turn it around. 29 00:01:14,954 --> 00:01:17,739 My thinking, my stressful thinking is unlovable. 30 00:01:17,740 --> 00:01:21,169 Yeah. Your thoughts about your body are unlovable. 31 00:01:21,170 --> 00:01:24,172 Yes. My thoughts about my body are unlovable. 32 00:01:24,197 --> 00:01:27,110 And another one, "My body is unlovable"? 33 00:01:27,245 --> 00:01:29,752 -My body's very lovable. -Yeah. 34 00:01:29,777 --> 00:01:32,232 Oh, my, my-- 35 00:01:35,666 --> 00:01:38,286 You know, you've been living with an enemy. 36 00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:43,623 An innocent enemy and all it's done is serve you. 37 00:01:45,579 --> 00:01:47,836 You have the thought, "I want to-- 38 00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:52,153 go to the bathroom"? It takes you there. 39 00:01:53,319 --> 00:01:56,209 It doesn't say, "I'm too tired!", "I don't wanna go!"-- 40 00:01:56,210 --> 00:01:58,411 That's your mind saying that. 41 00:01:58,673 --> 00:02:01,196 It just gets up and goes. 42 00:02:04,245 --> 00:02:05,768 It is-- 43 00:02:06,087 --> 00:02:08,230 a most amazing servant. 44 00:02:10,413 --> 00:02:15,740 And you attack it with your unquestioned-- 45 00:02:17,451 --> 00:02:18,968 thoughts of hate. 46 00:02:20,791 --> 00:02:22,399 And there's nothing 47 00:02:22,823 --> 00:02:24,726 lovable about that. 48 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:27,544 Let's look at the next one. 49 00:02:27,569 --> 00:02:30,780 Oh, we did the one-- "My body is unhealthy". 50 00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:33,945 So, if I turn that around, I'd say, 51 00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:36,376 "My thinking about my body has been unhealthy". 52 00:02:36,401 --> 00:02:38,162 And it is your job, 53 00:02:38,588 --> 00:02:42,098 if you believe in-- 54 00:02:44,628 --> 00:02:47,460 in just basic 55 00:02:48,071 --> 00:02:49,848 kindness, 56 00:02:50,365 --> 00:02:53,988 it is your job to catch those thoughts and get real. 57 00:02:54,012 --> 00:02:54,534 Yes. 58 00:02:54,559 --> 00:02:56,193 Not get positive. 59 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:57,676 Get real. 60 00:02:57,701 --> 00:02:58,168 OK. 61 00:02:58,193 --> 00:03:00,406 'Cause positive doesn't cut it. 62 00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:01,573 Yeah. 63 00:03:01,606 --> 00:03:03,189 Not when we look in the mirror. 64 00:03:03,232 --> 00:03:04,261 No. 65 00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:05,874 Real cuts it. 66 00:03:05,899 --> 00:03:09,013 "Positive" will hold us on a lighter bed 67 00:03:09,038 --> 00:03:10,735 until we can get real. 68 00:03:10,775 --> 00:03:11,703 OK. 69 00:03:11,728 --> 00:03:14,712 So, it's a very good thing, positive thinking. 70 00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:16,379 It is not enough. 71 00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:17,288 Yeah. 72 00:03:17,289 --> 00:03:19,161 Get real. Because you know how to do it. 73 00:03:19,186 --> 00:03:21,010 -Yes. -OK. 74 00:03:21,772 --> 00:03:23,151 And the last one is 75 00:03:23,176 --> 00:03:25,938 "I don't ever wanna hate my body again, 76 00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:29,477 or see my body as fat and flabby when it is naked". 77 00:03:29,502 --> 00:03:31,030 "I'm willing to"-- 78 00:03:31,153 --> 00:03:33,590 I'm willing to hate my body again. 79 00:03:33,845 --> 00:03:36,928 I'm willing to see my body fat and flabby when it is naked". 80 00:03:36,953 --> 00:03:41,601 Yeah. So, that pain will be the reminder it's time to get real, 81 00:03:41,626 --> 00:03:44,694 that you are out of your skull. Crazy. 82 00:03:45,217 --> 00:03:48,087 That's a very good description of me. 83 00:03:48,172 --> 00:03:50,319 So, "I look forward to"-- 84 00:03:50,472 --> 00:03:53,829 I look forward to hating my body again. 85 00:03:53,830 --> 00:03:55,435 I do. 86 00:03:55,847 --> 00:03:57,689 I know that sounds weird but I do! 87 00:03:57,690 --> 00:03:59,520 Picking up those pieces. 88 00:03:59,758 --> 00:04:01,999 Picking up those pieces of what's left. 89 00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:03,292 "I look forward to"-- 90 00:04:03,331 --> 00:04:05,790 I look forward to seeing my body fat and flabby 91 00:04:05,815 --> 00:04:08,234 and naked every day. 92 00:04:08,258 --> 00:04:10,249 I love it, honey. 93 00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:11,771 I love it. 94 00:04:11,796 --> 00:04:14,320 You are a remarkable woman. 95 00:04:14,345 --> 00:04:15,376 Thank you. 96 00:04:15,401 --> 00:04:17,171 You are welcome.