A sampling of Work from a recent New Year's Cleanse shows how funny our stressful thoughts can be, once they are met with understanding. At this annual event, participants often find that their most painful issues melt into laughter.
0:00:00.000,0:00:04.000 Byron Katie: Those relationships it’s very clear they’re just there to wake us up. 0:00:04.000,0:00:11.000 We judge them on paper and we set ourselves free and then the past changes. 0:00:11.000,0:00:15.000 We do The Work and then The Work does us. 0:00:15.000,0:00:23.000 Man: Well, a friend and colleague, Nathaniel up front here, has been doing The Work for a couple of years 0:00:23.000,0:00:38.000 and I have been impressed with the results and as he introduced it to me I found it difficult to do and irritating. 0:00:38.000,0:00:41.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. Nathaniel could cost you your world. 0:00:41.000,0:00:46.000 Man: So, I thought, “If it’s this hard I probably should come and lean into it.” 0:00:46.000,0:00:49.000 Byron Katie: Oh my goodness. Wow. Thank you for that. 0:00:49.000,0:00:51.000 Man: Thank you. 0:00:51.000,0:00:54.000 Byron Katie: Wow. 0:00:54.000,0:00:56.000 Byron Katie: You’re new to The Work, right? 0:00:56.000,0:00:57.000 Man: It’s been a long time. 0:00:57.000,0:01:12.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. Okay, so I would really like you to be the first one in the chair, if that’s good for you? 0:01:12.000,0:01:13.000 Man: Yeah. 0:01:13.000,0:01:15.000 Byron Katie: Okay. 0:01:15.000,0:01:22.000 Woman: When you said “the look” I go, “Oh my God, that’s me.” The look that could literally freeze and drop my kids dead. 0:01:22.000,0:01:23.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. 0:01:23.000,0:01:24.000 Woman: Knock them out with “the look.” 0:01:24.000,0:01:27.000 Byron Katie: We have taught them well what that means. 0:01:27.000,0:01:38.000 Woman: I’ve looked at myself in the mirror sometimes and scared the shit out of myself. Seriously; and I think, “Oh my God.” 0:01:38.000,0:01:49.000 Woman: Melanoma shouldn’t happen to me. It should happen to other people. 0:01:49.000,0:01:56.000 Byron Katie: Next. 0:01:56.000,0:02:02.000 Woman: She didn’t know how good I was at math. So, I didn’t … 0:02:02.000,0:02:03.000 Byron Katie: You played it very small. 0:02:03.000,0:02:05.000 Woman: I did. 0:02:05.000,0:02:08.000 Byron Katie: I get to be huge and you get to be something else. 0:02:08.000,0:02:10.000 Woman: I get to be this. 0:02:10.000,0:02:19.000 Byron Katie: And that’s really good for our relationship. 0:02:19.000,0:02:22.000 Byron Katie: So, “I want him to pay his rent on time,” turned around. 0:02:22.000,0:02:25.000 What is the opposite of “I want” 0:02:25.000,0:02:27.000 Woman: “I don’t want him to pay his rent on time.” 0:02:27.000,0:02:29.000 Byron Katie: So, give me an example. 0:02:29.000,0:02:30.000 Woman: I’m stuck there. 0:02:30.000,0:02:34.000 Byron Katie: Okay. Anyone have an example? Yes, honey. 0:02:34.000,0:02:40.000 Man in audience: Well, maybe if he doesn’t; he can come home to you and you can see him. 0:02:40.000,0:02:54.000 Woman: No. 0:02:54.000,0:02:56.000 Man: I want mom to be happy. 0:02:56.000,0:03:05.000 Byron Katie: Okay. So, you be your mom be unhappy and I’m going to be you. I’m going to be a son that really wants her to be happy. 0:03:05.000,0:03:06.000 Man: Okay. 0:03:06.000,0:03:07.000 Byron Katie: Okay. So, “Hi mom.” 0:03:07.000,0:03:13.000 Man: “Hi John. What are you doing?” 0:03:13.000,0:03:25.000 Byron Katie: “I have this trip that I’d like you to take. It’s a gift. It’s a wonderful, wonderful thing. It will make you so happy.” 0:03:25.000,0:03:28.000 Man: “I don’t know if I’m sure I want to do something like that.” 0:03:28.000,0:03:29.000 Byron Katie: “Hmmmmm.” 0:03:29.000,0:03:49.000 Man: “As a matter of fact, I just took a trip with you and I don’t think I want to, I don’t want to do another one right now. I’m happy here.” 0:03:49.000,0:03:55.000 Man: “It’s too hot out here and these; and this line is to get back on this boat is too long.” 0:03:55.000,0:03:57.000 Byron Katie: “What do you suggest, Mom?” 0:03:57.000,0:03:58.000 Man: She jumped the line. 0:03:58.000,0:03:59.000 Byron Katie: She jumped the line? 0:03:59.000,0:04:01.000 Man: She jumped the line. 0:04:01.000,0:04:08.000 Byron Katie: Oh. Well, that’s good with her. 0:04:08.000,0:04:09.000 That’s good with her. 0:04:09.000,0:04:13.000 Man: I was so; I was, like, “What?” And she jumped it. 0:04:13.000,0:04:20.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. That made her very happy. 0:04:20.000,0:04:26.000 Do you want your mother to be happy or not? 0:04:26.000,0:04:29.000 So, give me another. . . You know, did you jump the line? 0:04:29.000,0:04:30.000 Man: She did look happy. 0:04:30.000,0:04:31.000 Byron Katie: Did you jump the line? 0:04:31.000,0:04:45.000 Man: I just got right beside her and sort of hid my side, you know, from view. 0:04:45.000,0:04:54.000 I mean, I had to stay with her. 0:04:54.000,0:04:58.000 Byron Katie: That’s a good one. 0:04:58.000,0:05:05.000 Byron Katie: Your mother is so capable. 0:05:05.000,0:05:07.000 Man: “I don’t know why I ever came here in the first place.” 0:05:07.000,0:05:18.000 Byron Katie: “Well, you know, that’s interesting that you should say that. Why did you?” 0:05:18.000,0:05:22.000 Man: “I just thought that you’d be happy if I did.” 0:05:22.000,0:05:29.000 Byron Katie: “Oh. Oh, Mom, that is so like you.” 0:05:29.000,0:05:36.000 Woman: When you state, “I’m willing to” or, “I look forward to,” it’s almost; we create, I create my own reality. 0:05:36.000,0:05:43.000 Therefore, if I say, “I look forward to being with an unavailable man,” I’m willing to be with an unavailable man. I go, “No I’m not.” 0:05:43.000,0:05:48.000 Byron Katie: Even though the man you’re with could be totally unavailable. 0:05:48.000,0:05:52.000 You know, who’s available to unavailable men or the other way around. 0:05:52.000,0:06:01.000 You know, it’s. . . I am always who I believe you to be in the moment I believe that. 0:06:01.000,0:06:08.000 Woman: I’ve got to rewind that one and then play it. Kind of went. . . 0:06:08.000,0:06:16.000 Woman: What I wonder about that is, it is true because for me I have used people, you know, to make myself feel better, 0:06:16.000,0:06:18.000 instead of just experiencing. . . 0:06:18.000,0:06:24.000 Byron Katie: Well just notice, have you ever had any other kind of relationship? 0:06:24.000,0:06:25.000 Woman: Than what? 0:06:25.000,0:06:28.000 Byron Katie: Maybe that’s all it is. Just using people to feel better? 0:06:28.000,0:06:31.000, Woman: It just feels like the word “using” seems to. . . 0:06:31.000,0:06:33.000 Byron Katie: Well, what was your word? 0:06:33.000,0:06:41.000 Woman: “Using.” 0:06:41.000,0:06:51.000 Woman: The wrong belief that I hold is that “the emergency room is for emergencies.” 0:06:51.000,0:07:01.000 Byron Katie: Please step into my parlor. This is an emergency. 0:07:01.000,0:07:06.000 Woman: And as a taxpayer I am resentful about the waste of money. 0:07:06.000,0:07:13.000 Byron Katie: How do you react when you’re looking down on someone? Like. how do you look at me? 0:07:13.000,0:07:17.000 Woman: I’ll come in and say, “Oh, I’m doctor. . .” whatever. 0:07:17.000,0:07:21.000 “What’s bringing you in today? What’s bringing you back to the emergency room today?” 0:07:21.000,0:07:25.000 Byron Katie: Ah, it’s that “back.” 0:07:25.000,0:07:33.000 Woman: “What made you call 911 today for your menstrual cramps?” 0:07:33.000,0:07:39.000 “What can we do for you again today?” 0:07:39.000,0:07:49.000 And I set a timer on my watch before I go in the room so I know I’m in there for no more than three minutes. 0:07:49.000,0:07:51.000 Byron Katie: Let’s have a conservation. Okay. 0:07:51.000,0:08:05.000 So, you be like a compilation of the most; the biggest abuser that can come into your office and I’ve got three minutes. 0:08:05.000,0:08:09.000 So, “Hello. What brings you here?” 0:08:09.000,0:08:15.000 Woman: “Well, I have to be texting on my phone and I’m in 10 out of 10 pain and I came in by ambulance.” 0:08:15.000,0:08:21.000 “Also, I’m drunk and screaming and screaming obscenities that other patients can hear. 0:08:21.000,0:08:28.000 And I’m out of my Percocet. I lost it, my dog ate it, it flushed down the toilet. I need 120, with refills. I need them now. 0:08:28.000,0:08:33.000 My pain is terrible; it’s worse than anyone’s pain. It’s 20 out of 10. Why don’t you believe me?” 0:08:33.000,0:08:43.000 Byron Katie: “Okay. Well, actually, you know, I’m unable to give you that prescription.” 0:08:43.000,0:08:48.000 Woman: “No. I need it. Why? Every other doctor has given it to me.” 0:08:48.000,0:08:51.000 Byron Katie: “Oh, you know that’s beautiful. Go to them.” 0:08:51.000,0:08:59.000 Woman: “No. I’m here now and I took an ambulance in and I’m going to pay for it with, you know, Medicaid and no. I need it now. 0:08:59.000,0:09:08.000 What am I supposed to do? I’m in 10 out of 10 pain. You don’t understand how bad my pinky finger hurts.” 0:09:08.000,0:09:11.000 Byron Katie: “You know, that’s true and I cannot give you a prescription.” 0:09:11.000,0:09:12.000 Woman: “Why not?” 0:09:12.000,0:09:14.000 Byron Katie: “I really see how badly you hurt.” 0:09:14.000,0:09:19.000 Woman: “Well, I’m not going to leave until you tell me why you’re the only one who won’t do this.” 0:09:19.000,0:09:23.000 Byron Katie: “Well, because I won’t.” 0:09:23.000,0:09:25.000 Woman: “I need; I need to see another doctor.” 0:09:25.000,0:09:39.000 Byron Katie: “Yes. Thank you.” Let’s see, that was … 0:09:39.000,0:09:41.000 Man: Who’s dreaming the dream? 0:09:41.000,0:09:44.000 Byron Katie: That would be you. 0:09:44.000,0:09:50.000 Man: So, I’m dreaming the dream for everyone. 0:09:50.000,0:09:55.000 Byron Katie: No. You’re dreaming the dream of everyone. 0:09:55.000,0:09:57.000 Man: So, none of you exist? 0:09:57.000,0:10:02.000 Byron Katie: Only in your mind. 0:10:02.000,0:10:11.000 Man: Okay. 0:10:11.000,0:10:21.000 Byron Katie: And he’d say things like, “Who the hell do you think you are?” 0:10:21.000,0:10:24.000 “Who the hell do you think you are, Kate?” 0:10:24.000,0:10:34.000 “Okay, honey, just slow down.” That’s a good one. 0:10:34.000,0:10:39.000 Woman: He would just say; like, “You’re just a whore.” 0:10:39.000,0:10:40.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. 0:10:40.000,0:10:42.000 Woman: And that hurts. 0:10:42.000,0:10:46.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. But if you know yourself, it’s not going to hurt, honey. That’s the way out. 0:10:46.000,0:10:48.000 Woman: But still … 0:10:48.000,0:10:54.000 Byron Katie: You want to step into this parlor? Let’s do The Work. 0:10:54.000,0:11:01.000 Woman: About seven weeks before he said he “could not forget the past” and cancelled the wedding. 0:11:01.000,0:11:15.000 “(He) is ungrateful. Always doubting. Weak. Co-dependent on his parents. Irresponsible. Cold. Immature.” 0:11:15.000,0:11:27.000 Byron Katie: “And I really want to marry him.” 0:11:27.000,0:11:35.000 “He doesn’t want to forgive the past.” Turn it around. “I. . .” 0:11:35.000,0:11:40.000 Woman: “I didn’t want to forget the past.” 0:11:40.000,0:11:45.000 Because that way I put myself down and he would love me. 0:11:45.000,0:11:54.000 Byron Katie: Oh, whoring again. 0:11:54.000,0:12:07.000 Woman: I actually cancelled the wedding. 0:12:07.000,0:12:08.000 Woman: Can I say something? 0:12:08.000,0:12:09.000 Woman in audience: Yes. 0:12:09.000,0:12:18.000 Woman: If, now that word “whore” is not; it’s okay because I have been that … 0:12:18.000,0:12:25.000 Byron Katie: She says with a smile on her face that shocked her over there. 0:12:25.000,0:12:35.000 Woman: So, I really just want to say it’s my first time here. I can’t thank you enough for the simple words: “Is it true?” Thank you. 0:12:35.000,0:12:38.000 Byron Katie: You’re so welcome. Wow. 0:12:38.000,0:12:46.000 [Text on screen]: New Year’s Mental Cleanse. Los Angeles, CA