Michelle wonders if her allergies are psychosomatic and if she can get rid of the thoughts that cause them. “I can’t get rid of a thought,” Katie says. “But if I question it and see something that is truer, then I can never believe that thought again.” “My mother programmed me to believe that I had allergies,” Michelle says. As she questions this thought, she realizes what a burden it is and how much stronger and freer she feels without it. “If you believed that thought,” Katie says, “how can you blame your mother? The only thing she’s guilty of is believing it, just like you, so there’s nothing to forgive.”
Byron Katie: Michelle. Michelle: Hi. Hi, Michelle. Hi. Hi. So, would you read the email that you sent to me, please. Yes. Can the 4 questions in turnaround be used to help me get rid of nasal allergies I’ve had them since I was a child. Programmed to have them by my mom, who convinced me I’m allergic to dogs, cats, animal dander, pollen, mold. I’ve heard that allergies are psychosomatic and I’ve tried eliminating this belief, but I’m not successful. Yeah. Well, there’s nothing that isn’t psychosomatic, in the way that I understand that term, which certainly doesn’t mean a lot. But I can only point to my own experience. When you say, “I’ve heard allergies are psychosomatic and I’ve tried eliminating this belief, but I’m not successful.” OK. So, it’s like, “I have allergies.” OK? Now, I can’t get rid of that belief. But if I question it and I see something that is truer, then I can no longer believe that thought again. Oh, wow. Yeah. So, I cannot not believe when I believe. OK. So, I’ll say it again, if I can. I could not eliminate what I was thinking or believing. Still can’t. Thoughts happen, it seems, and when they do, do we attach to them? Do we believe them? Now, I didn’t have a choice. I believed. The more I believed, I believed. But when I questioned it, everything shifted. And that is true for millions and millions of people out there today that are in inquiry. So, now, allergies you say, Can 4 questions and turnarounds be used to help me get rid of my nasal allergies? And eventually, yes. But it doesn’t mean, let’s say, I am completely allergy free. Well, I’m blowing my nose all the time and people say, “Katie, you have allergies.” OK? Now, that’s theirs and I have my own. Because it’s like, I blew my nose and they’re saying, “Do you have allergies?” and honestly I have to say, “Honestly, the answer is no.” But occasionally I’ll say, “Yes.” Because in the world, as people perceive it to be, that’s an allergy. But to me it’s a world in the past that I can no longer experience. Like, I blew my nose; it’s over. Do I have allergies? Don’t know. Yeah. And eventually, as you continue inquiry, it gets closer and closer to where you can even see it’s in the past as you’re blowing your nose. And eventually you cannot take credit for even blowing your nose, as something apparently is blowing its nose. But even that is questionable; the nose part. But through inquiry all is possible. OK. So, allergies are always in the past or future. As long as you believe them to be there, they are real to you. Just like all of life. And allergies are a part of life, as projected from the inside. Allergies are outside of you. And you believe them to be real, because your mind would convince you. So, you say, I’ve had them since I was a child. Programmed to have them by my mom who convinced me I’m allergic to dogs, cats, etcetera. OK. So, “your mother convinced you that you had allergies.” Is that true? She said you’re allergic to dogs. You’re allergic to cats. You’re allergic to … Yeah. You know, I can remember those sorts of statements being said to me when I was really super young. Excellent. And believing them and going to doctors and tests and symptoms. Yeah. It seems like I have them and, like, that’s when it started. Yes. So, your mother … It seems like it’s true. Yes. Absolutely. So, your answer would be yes. Yeah. She did. OK and that’s something definitely to meditate on. Now, how do you react when you think the thought, “My mother programmed me to believe this.” I feel terrible. I feel very guilty blaming my mom for something that if it’s happening at all … Oh, honey. … it’s my fault. Yeah. Yeah. So, you’re in touch with that emotional. Yeah. That’s also how you react when you believe the thought, “She programmed me to have allergies.” Yeah. So now, who would you be without the thought, “She programmed me to have allergies?” As you’re blowing your nose; as you’re taking your meds, who would you be without the thought: “My mother programmed me to have allergies.” “My mother convinced me I’m allergic to animals.” It’s so foreign, that it’s hard to even imagine that, but I feel myself feelng stronger if I’m not believing it was her fault … Yes. … that she did it to me. Yes, because look at the stress that’s there when you do believe it. So, it’s natural that you would feel so much lighter and freer, because you’re experiencing more of your true nature. So, without the thought; so, I love that sub-question I occasionally use: Does that thought bring peace or stress to you; to your life? So, we can obviously say it’s stress. Yeah. It’s almost torture. “So, my mother programmed me, as a child, to believe I have allergies.” “My mother convinced me, as a child, that I have allergies.” Turn it around. I … “I convinced myself that I have allergies.” So, what does that mean to you as that little bitty girl? She doesn’t believe it, because she doesn’t feel like she has any power in that situation. Whatever mom says is the truth. And it is what it is. So, what I’m hearing is that you believed her. Yeah. So, who convinced you you had allergies? Me, because I believed my mom. If you keep it really simple, you convinced you you had allergies. Yeah. And it’s not right or wrong. It’s just how the mind takes on an identity. I’m the little girl that believes that I’m the little girl that convinced myself that I have allergies. Now, little girls, it’s very difficult to override our mothers. Yeah. And our parents and the world and what they say. Right. But just because they believe it, doesn’t make it true. Oh. Yeah. They’re no more mature than we are. Right. Nobody knows anything. Yeah. So, your mother, all night, all day, says you have allergies. You’re allergic to dogs and cats. I’m taking you to the doctor. The doctor says you have allergies. But who believed it? Me. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So, now, if you believed it, how can you blame your mother? She’s guilty of believing just like you. Right. So, there’s nothing to forgive. She believed it and tried to convince you. At some point you believed it and convinced you and then tried to convince other people. Right. That you have allergies. Yes. So, that’s pretty far-reaching. Now, you just blew your nose. Was it fun? No. It hurts. Ok. So, you know, I would look at that again. It could be you just blew your nose ot because you have the allergies, but because it was time to blow your nose. Just like you’re breathing. Oh. Wow. Just like it was time to say, “Oh. Wow.” I am not the doer. I see you moving your head. You notice. It’s a beautiful thing. It’s a whole different truth that I’m hearing and receiving right now. It’s so beautiful too. Understand the way of it and to be the way of it and the witness of that. There is nothing terrible happening in the world. And for you those of you listening, I’m not saying that there’s not tragedy happening out there somewhere. I’m inviting you just to look at your own life. There is no tragedy right here, right now, in your life. It’s like, who would you be without a story when you blow your nose. Just a nose blower. And just witnessing something so amazing, it’s like a miracle. Not a miracle that you can blow your nose, because you’re not the blower. But just a miracle. Like my hand doing that. It’s a beautiful thing. Yeah. And the breath, in and out. And when it’s time to sneeze, I sneeze. Not one second before or after, just in the perfect moment I sneeze. It sneezes. It blows its nose. It blows its nose, it seems. It goes to doctors, it seems. They’re going to make it better. They’re going to make it worse. Don’t know. Just be what. Wow. I’m feeling a profound big shift in my perception of me and my life and my reality right now. Yeah. Thank you. You’re so welcome. You know, our mind would lead us to believe that there’s something out of order. Yeah. And there’s nothing out of order other than what we’re thinking and believing about life. That could use a little work. So, a Worksheet on your mother. Maybe a Worksheet on your allergies. Yeah. OK precious. Thank you so much. Thank you for your letter.