Video: When You’re Certain It’s True

Antonella is convinced that her husband got a secret parking ticket. He hasn’t mentioned the ticket to her, and she found a photograph of it. But with Byron Katie’s guidance, she finds a startling distinction between certainty and openness: when she is certain, she’s frightened and hurt and wonders if she chose the wrong man; when she’s open, she is “the happiest wife in the world.”

“You would be so free,” Katie says, “that when he came home, you would ask him about the ticket. For all you know, he just forgot to tell you.”

Having lost her certainty about the secrecy of the ticket, Antonella finds a surprising turnaround: that she was hiding her knowledge of the ticket from her husband. “When you stop accusing your partner,” Katie says, “you can see how the war begins with you.”