For most of my life, I believed that suffering was an inevitable part of who I was. For years, I looked for ways to alleviate it. I kept trying to fix the circumstances of my life and I desperately tried to fix me. One day, as I was agonizing about the challenging romantic relationship I was in, a friend handed me a book by Byron Katie. I went through the book in one night. Something in me deeply resonated with Katie’s words, like an inner knowing. I started doing The Work on my own and eventually traveled to Los Angeles to attend my first School for the Work. It was not easy at all but I kept at it. Over time, without even noticing it at first, I realized that there was less and less drama in my life. Despite (what I would normally consider) challenging life events such as the passing of my dad, the accidental death of my teenage daughter’s dear friend and the depression that followed, health challenges, the break up of the relationship with the man I loved; I noticed I was okay. There was a place inside of myself that was unperturbed by it all. It was like being a vast sea whose sweeping waves are crashing on the shore, but whose deeper core remains unaffected by the movement at the surface. I found out that suffering was not actually part of my being, and only when I identified with the beliefs that popped up in my head that I suffered. And let’s be honest, here: I still identify with stressful beliefs. At times, the stories I tell myself about the world and who I am are so compelling that I am completely taken by them and not ready to question them. And then, I notice my suffering, and I am reminded that whatever I believe in the moment must not be very true. The suffering has become like an alarm bell inviting me to question my stressful thoughts.
If you are tired of suffering and want to meet your stressful beliefs with an open mind and an open heart, I will hold space for you. I will join you in the four questions and the turnarounds.