Christina YuLing Hsu
Since I had memories, I have tried running away from my environment, the things that I couldn’t handle. I either fantasized about being Mrs. Chen’s daughter when I hid under my father’s desk cabinet or anywhere that I could stay away from what I called “Home” if I could. When I got older, I even ran into marriage at a very young age; I was unaware of coming responsibilities of being a wife, a mother, establishing a business as well as dealing with complicated relationships in life; I was overwhelmed and swallowed them in. Soon, instead of running away from my environment, I began trying to oppress my emotions in order to adapt to the new life, but it didn’t work well. So, prolonged oppressed emotions began to sabotage my relationship with my family and created different physical and emotional dis-eases. The fear of death led me to embark on my “Finding-cure journey.”
From that state of confusion, I soon started my journey into western and eastern medicine, folk religion, psychic reading, Chi-Gong, Zen meditation, new-age, spiritual healing… you name it. I even ran from an island into the prairies of North America with only a little English, where I thought if I could stay away from my familiar environment that the dis-eases would be healed and I would live stress free. However, with the challenge of re-establishing my life on a foreign continent with only a little English, I felt like a 5-year-old child trapped in an adult body; I suddenly dropped from somebody to nobody. Foreign living was even more harsh, because I still encountered the same situations and same people who were disguised by different forms and skin color; I couldn’t go anywhere.
Yet, it never occurred to me that the cause of my suffering was my un-questioned thoughts, that my suffering had nothing to with the outer world. While I was in North America, instead of feeling miserable, I was introduced to the Tibetan Buddhist, New-age and Inner child healing workshops… they all have accompanied me along the way. But I still felt unfulfilled. Especially, I got into trouble for defending my inner child against others.
When, I met The Work for the second time, I picked up a pen and wrote down my stressful thoughts on paper and humbly went through the Inquiry. The process of Inquiry not only led me to contemplate my thoughts, to question them, but also it created a safe place, allowing the “ I “ to vent freely. It led me to another level of stillness where I experienced a state of emptiness. I was able to witness the “I” between, with and without the thought. Compassion came naturally to others and myself. The Work not only dispelled my confusion but also integrated all the teachings. I am the one who is taking care of my wellbeing.
From that moment, instead of running away from my emotional challenges, I questioned my thoughts. One by one, I feel my identity has been cast off layer by layer; I learned that I didn’t need to be perfect, I was able to meet my fear, anxiety, worry, anger, frustration …emotions with understanding. My life has become lighter and more joyful. I let go off my stress more easily. Whenever emotion is aroused, I am able to return back to my center and question it to clear my confused mind.
To me, The Work is like a flashlight/ lantern, when I get lost in the mist jungle, I can turn on my flashlight/lantern and it will lead me home, and let me see that I never left my home; On my life’s journey, I’m no longer alone; I have my companion, The Work. I also have helped doctors and lawyers with crises in their professional lives. I have helped customers in despair in beauty salons. There is nothing big or small that cannot be undone by The Work.
From my life experience and background; relationship, parenting, self-stigma, health, aging, workplace, conflict resolution regardless of spiritual beliefs… whoever wants to be free of their suffering, I am delighted to support you in your challenges in person, on the phone or through Skype.