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Tamami Fujiwara

For as long as I could remember, my father was frequently drunk and abusive to my family. Growing up, I was taught to please my father and suppress my voice. So when I got married and became pregnant, I felt like I could finally start my own new life. In 2009 I became pregnant via fertility treatments, but not long after I had a miscarriage. This came a year after losing my father to lung cancer, and these events combined to put me in a figurative dark hole. I didn’t know how to climb out of the hole and didn’t even want to try. All I could think of was to end my life. That was the time I went to the self-well-being section of the bookstore. There she was, Byron Katie, smiling at me from the bookshelf. It was Loving What Is. This is how The Work came into my life—and how my outlook on life has changed 100% for the better.

My discovery of The Work has given me a tool to better identify my stressful thoughts and understand my behavioral patterns. I realized that I had accumulated years of resentment toward my father on the grounds that he was manipulative and abusive. By questioning my stressful thoughts caused by this relationship, I could better recognize that my father loved me the best way he knew and he was always honest with me. This was a revelation for me and it was quite radical to gain a perspective so different from what I had believed for so many years. Once my mind could comprehend the truth behind my stressful thoughts (a story I was creating myself), those thoughts started letting me go. The Work has provided me a great way to understand what really causes my suffering in a given moment. And just as importantly it has taught me how to accept and love myself, and in turn, love others.

One big shift (so many have happened in my life) since I started questioning my thoughts is that I have been able to clear my mind for greater things. This has recently culminated in my ability to finally earn a college degree. In my early twenties, I dropped out of college but never had the courage to tell my parents. I lived with guilt and shame over this for a long time. Considering my Japanese upbringing and cultural expectations, an unfinished education (and the circumstances around it) was a real source of guilt for me. But now twenty years later, after being introduced to The Work, I had the courage and determination to go back to school and recently graduated with a B.A. in Social Work. I went from college dropout to graduating with honors.

Through my college internship, I have connected with many people facing serious life issues such as mental illness, domestic violence and homelessness. A big goal for me is to bring The Work to people who are at risk and to have it make a difference in their lives.

These are some areas I have experienced personally and in which I would love to support you:

Child abuse
Domestic violence
The isolation of living in a foreign country as a non-native English speaker
The death of a father
Delinquency as a teenager
I am deeply grateful and passionate for The Work and have a genuine passion for sharing it. I am open to and enthusiastic about hosting presentations and workshops. I offer private one-on-one sessions over Skype, phone or in-person. As a native Japanese speaker, I am happy to offer these services in both English and Japanese. Please feel free to contact me for more information. I look forward to hearing from you.

I offer private sessions, individualized retreats and workshops. These events are accredited for ITW candidates—please ask about the number ofeligible credit hours.

Learn more at my website www.bestfriendofmind.com or feel free to contact me directly.

「お前って本当に馬鹿だな!」「何一つまともにできないんだな!」このような言葉を父から毎日のように聞きながら育ってきた私は、いつの間にか困難なことに立ち向かう度に、「いっそ死んでしまったら楽になれるのに。」と思うようになっていました。2008年10月、暴言を吐き続けた父が他界し、その後アメリカ人の夫と自分なりの家庭を築こうと、不妊治療を受けてやっと授かり妊娠。しかしその喜びも束の間、わずか8週間で流産した私は、過去に何度も叫んできた言葉、「死んでしまいたい、死んでしまいたい。」と思うようになりました。そんなある日ブックストアでLoving What Is (ワーク)の本のカバーのケイティが私にやさしく微笑んでいたのです。吸い込まれるように手に取り、時には大泣きしながら3日間で一気に読み終えていました。


2010年3月に初めてバイロン・ケイティのThe School for The Workへ参加しました。2008年に父が癌で逝く数か月前から椎間板ヘルニアを患い、長時間座ることも立つこともできなかった私でしたが、このスクールで腰痛について質問している最中にすーっと痛みが消えていったのです!自分でも信じられませんでしたが、私の心の根底にある幼少期からの深い傷、孤独感、人間関係が椎間板ヘルニアという形で表れていたのかもしれません。そのときワークを自分の人生に取り入れていこう、と強く思ったのです。




  • 家庭内暴力
  • 不良行為
  • いじめ (被害者・加害者)
  • 恋愛中毒(多数の異性との関係)
  • 孤独感、疎外感(海外在住)
  • 父の死
  • 離婚
  • 流産
  • 自殺念慮


United States, Washington
English, Japanese
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