A man who is convinced that he can't make a living doing what he really wants to do questions his crippling beliefs through The Work with Byron Katie.
0:00:00.000,0:00:06.000 [Text on screen]: The Work of Byron Katie on: “I’m not living up to my full potential.” Part 2 0:00:06.000,0:00:12.000 Byron Katie: If the whole world rejected you; feel the peace in that. 0:00:12.000,0:00:13.000 Man: I love it. 0:00:13.000,0:00:15.000 Byron Katie: Continue to read. 0:00:15.000,0:00:18.000 Man: “I want me to get my act together.” 0:00:18.000,0:00:21.000 Byron Katie: What kind of “act” would that be? 0:00:21.000,0:00:23.000 Man: The one that people like. 0:00:23.000,0:00:27.000 Byron Katie: Oh, my goodness. 0:00:27.000,0:00:28.000 Man: Painful, huh. 0:00:28.000,0:00:31.000 Byron Katie: Honey, is it possible for everyone to like you? 0:00:31.000,0:00:33.000 Man: Not even. Not even closely. 0:00:33.000,0:00:35.000 Byron Katie: So, you get it? 0:00:35.000,0:00:36.000 Man: Intellectually, yes. 0:00:36.000,0:00:45.000 Byron Katie: The thing you’re striving for is impossible? If you look again you’ll see, we love you, we care about you, we want you to be safe. 0:00:45.000,0:00:48.000 That’s all that’s going on. 0:00:48.000,0:00:56.000 And it leaves you with your own opinion to do with your life what you know to do with. 0:00:56.000,0:00:58.000 Man: That’s all I’ve ever wanted. 0:00:58.000,0:00:59.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. 0:00:59.000,0:01:07.000 Man: Yeah. You know what is the reason I feel frustrated in not being successful? Is because I’ve taken on an impossible task. 0:01:07.000,0:01:15.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. You know; make amends to yourself, make it right, whatever that is, and live in prosperity, 0:01:15.000,0:01:20.000 which has nothing to do with finances. Continue to read. 0:01:20.000,0:01:26.000 Man: “I don’t want to waste my life and I don’t want to miss what I came for.” 0:01:26.000,0:01:34.000 Byron Katie: You know, I’m just really listening. I’m hearing what you want. You’re living a false life for other people’s approval. 0:01:34.000,0:01:39.000 Man: “My direction shouldn’t be so hard to figure out.” 0:01:39.000,0:01:41.000 Byron Katie: And it’s not once you get in touch with yourself 0:01:41.000,0:01:45.000 Man: “It should be easier for me to make a commitment. “ 0:01:45.000,0:01:50.000 Byron Katie: You did, you know. You made a commitment. You got in a job you didn’t; 0:01:50.000,0:01:53.000 you weren’t suited for; according to you. Is that right? 0:01:53.000,0:01:55.000 Man: I’m not successful at it; put it that way. 0:01:55.000,0:02:01.000 Byron Katie: Well then, you wouldn’t feel successful at anything, because you’re going to take that mind with you. 0:02:01.000,0:02:02.000 Man: Yes. 0:02:02.000,0:02:07.000 Byron Katie: But if you look at whatever you do, you probably tear it apart somehow. 0:02:07.000,0:02:08.000 Man: Yeah. 0:02:08.000,0:02:13.000 Byron Katie: Which leaves you in poverty. Emotional poverty. 0:02:13.000,0:02:23.000 So, I would certainly do The Work on all those people that have those expectations about your life. 0:02:23.000,0:02:32.000 Man: The funny thing is, the more specific you get on particular people, the less of a hold that concept seems to have. 0:02:32.000,0:02:42.000 Even just, I’m not doing The Work on it, but I’m just thinking about it. I can already see a little. Like, I can see that I’m making up some of that. 0:02:42.000,0:02:44.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. It could be a huge percentage. 0:02:44.000,0:02:50.000 Understand what he’s saying? He’s projecting that they want him to live up to his full potential, when actually, 0:02:50.000,0:02:57.000 maybe one person kind of said that and the mind just blows it totally out of proportion. 0:02:57.000,0:03:03.000 “I’m letting them down.” And we forget that they didn’t say it; it’s what we were believing they said or thinking they said or … 0:03:03.000,0:03:12.000 Man: You know, I can even think with my family members of having a conservation with them individually and just … 0:03:12.000,0:03:15.000 Byron Katie: Ask them: “Would you care where I work?” 0:03:15.000,0:03:27.000 Man: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That’s it … 0:03:27.000,0:03:32.000 Byron Katie: So there’s that imaginary family and then there’s yours. And yours is much kinder than that. 0:03:32.000,0:03:34.000 Man: Yeah. I know. 0:03:34.000,0:03:39.000 Byron Katie: Okay honey, what is number 6? What did you write under number 6. 0:03:39.000,0:03:41.000 Man: “I don’t ever want to lie again.” 0:03:41.000,0:03:42.000 Byron Katie: “I’m willing to…” 0:03:42.000,0:03:43.000 Man: “I’m willing to lie again.” 0:03:43.000,0:03:51.000 Byron Katie: Yeah and you’re going to feel it. And as soon as you feel it, you know, acknowledge it; start over. 0:03:51.000,0:03:53.000 Man: “I don’t ever want to be a failure again.” 0:03:53.000,0:03:55.000 Byron Katie: What have you failed at? 0:03:55.000,0:03:59.000 Man: The way I would put it is, “I’m; I’ve never been successful.” 0:03:59.000,0:04:02.000 Byron Katie: And what is “success” in your eyes? 0:04:02.000,0:04:10.000 Man: It’s not true. Hold on. Hmmmmm. 0:04:10.000,0:04:18.000 I’m lying. 0:04:18.000,0:04:22.000 Yeah. I’ve had lots of successes. 0:04:22.000,0:04:26.000 I’ve had even in my own, like, I’ve owned my own business. 0:04:26.000,0:04:40.000 I own my own business now, but I’ve been; before I was able to pay the rent, people liked what I did. Even by that criteria I was successful. 0:04:40.000,0:04:43.000 Byron Katie: If you can’t pay the rent does that mean you’re not successful? 0:04:43.000,0:04:54.000 Man: No. That’s the funny thing. I feel like, really, success for me is being true to who I am. That’s success and I have. . . 0:04:54.000,0:04:58.000 Byron Katie: There’s nothing else that anyone wants. There’s nothing else that matters. 0:04:58.000,0:05:00.000 Man: No, and I totally get that. . . 0:05:00.000,0:05:05.000 Byron Katie: Everyone’s going to be successful and then they’re going to get their heart’s desire. 0:05:05.000,0:05:06.000 Man: Yeah. 0:05:06.000,0:05:11.000 Byron Katie: But the mind compares and so it’s never really satisfied with what it does. 0:05:11.000,0:05:19.000 Man: Yeah. I don’t know why I’m confused on this. Doing anything other than what seems to me to be truly selfish is. . . 0:05:19.000,0:05:22.000 Byron Katie: Give me an example of what you’re doing that’s “purely selfish.” 0:05:22.000,0:05:26.000 Man: Like, you were just talking about taking a break. That’s “purely selfish” in my mind. 0:05:26.000,0:05:28.000 Byron Katie: Oh. Really? 0:05:28.000,0:05:30.000 Man: Yeah. 0:05:30.000,0:05:36.000 Byron Katie: Taking a break to give you “your heart’s desire?” 0:05:36.000,0:05:43.000 Meaning to sit in yourself and give you “your heart’s desire” that’s “purely selfish?” 0:05:43.000,0:05:44.000 Man: Yeah. 0:05:44.000,0:05:49.000 Byron Katie: That assumes that when you find “your heart’s desire” we won’t benefit. It assumes that you won’t either. 0:05:49.000,0:05:52.000 So, there’s not a lot of value you’re putting on that. 0:05:52.000,0:05:55.000 Man: Yeah. That’s why I haven’t done it. 0:05:55.000,0:06:00.000 Byron Katie: Material things above “your heart’s desire.” 0:06:00.000,0:06:02.000 Man: Yeah. 0:06:02.000,0:06:07.000 Byron Katie: And I suggest balance. 0:06:07.000,0:06:11.000 Man: I can’t let go of this “judgment.” 0:06:11.000,0:06:13.000 Byron Katie: Of how you may to look to other people. 0:06:13.000,0:06:14.000, Man: Yeah. 0:06:14.000,0:06:20.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. Well, you get to look like someone who has their stuff together, even though you don’t. 0:06:20.000,0:06:22.000 Man: Exactly. 0:06:22.000,0:06:23.000 Byron Katie: Important to you, isn’t it? 0:06:23.000,0:06:24.000 Man: Yeah. 0:06:24.000,0:06:34.000 Byron Katie: So, if they saw you as this “out of control” person, you understand that it’s only your ego that’s threatened. 0:06:34.000,0:06:35.000 Man: I do. 0:06:35.000,0:06:36.000 Byron Katie: Your identity. 0:06:36.000,0:06:37.000 Man: Yeah. 0:06:37.000,0:06:42.000 Byron Katie: Okay and who would you be without the identity of “I’ve got my stuff together?” 0:06:42.000,0:06:45.000 Man: I might be a lot happier. 0:06:45.000,0:06:48.000 Byron Katie: Well, I invite you to sit in it for a while, honey. 0:06:48.000,0:06:57.000 You know, when you sit in it you might find your; you might find yourself, like, “They’re going to take me away. It’s going to be in a straitjacket.” 0:06:57.000,0:07:06.000 “Everyone I know, including my children, are going to say they don’t know me; they never met me.” 0:07:06.000,0:07:13.000 “They’re not going to come see me. They won’t want to be associated with me. I’ll be considered hopeless.” 0:07:13.000,0:07:20.000 “They’re going to put me in a room. They’re going to, you know, a padded room. No one’s ever going to come in.” 0:07:20.000,0:07:24.000 I begin to experience the most amazing sense of peace. 0:07:24.000,0:07:32.000 Because in that room I’d be left with my thoughts and that’s not a bad thing when you have inquiry. 0:07:32.000,0:07:40.000 It’s like, “time out.” So the worse that could happen as I have “time out” to do “my heart’s desire” 0:07:40.000,0:07:54.000 which is to, to sit with those thoughts that would oppose beauty, caring, kindness; 0:07:54.000,0:08:03.000 which is what you’re not being to yourself; in our name, in your family’s name. 0:08:03.000,0:08:04.000 Man: I hear that. Yeah. 0:08:04.000,0:08:07.000 Byron Katie: So, “I’m willing to …” 0:08:07.000,0:08:11.000 Man: “I’m willing to; I’m willing to be a failure.” 0:08:11.000,0:08:13.000 Byron Katie: Hmmmmm, exciting. 0:08:13.000,0:08:14.000 Man: Yeah. 0:08:14.000,0:08:18.000 Byron Katie: You know, a failure is a state of mind. 0:08:18.000,0:08:20.000 “I look forward to …” 0:08:20.000,0:08:22.000 Man: “I look forward to being a failure.” 0:08:22.000,0:08:30.000 Byron Katie: And you know, you’ve been living that way for a long time, in that state of mind. So, it’s nothing you can’t do. 0:08:30.000,0:08:33.000 Man: When you look at it, it’s not as bad as I. . . 0:08:33.000,0:08:36.000 Byron Katie: Yeah. It really is just a state of mind. 0:08:36.000,0:08:42.000 You know, I look at people on the streets and I think, “Oh my goodness, they’re so successful. They’re so good at what they do.” 0:08:42.000,0:08:45.000 I have a lot experience there. 0:08:45.000,0:08:46.000 Thank you, precious. 0:08:46.000,0:08:47.000 Man: Thank you. 0:08:47.000,0:08:48.000 Byron Katie: You’re welcome. 0:08:48.000,0:08:56.000 [Text on screen]: More videos, downloads and more at www.thework.com 0:08:56.000,0:08:57.000 THE WORK of Byron Katie 0:08:57.000,0:09:03.000 Turnaround House, The School for The Work, The New-Years Cleanse, The No-Body Intensive, Videos, downloads and more, www.theworkcom