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Inquiry: “She Didn’t Give Me The Job…”

Here’s a dialog from this (hot) summer in Europe:

Participant: I’m angry at ***** because she didn’t give me the job.

Katie: “She didn’t give you the job”—is that true?

Participant: Yes.

Katie: Yes. She either gave you the job, or she didn’t. So the answer’s yes.

Participant: Yes.

Katie: So how do you react when you think that thought—”She didn’t give me the job”? What happens when you believe it? What happens to your body, what happens to your mind?

Participant: The mind begins to think very fast, I should have learned to know her, it’s my fault, I should have seen it from the first beginning, I should not have been so engaged; self-reproach.

Katie: So you re-live the past. That thought is how you keep your life lived in the past with no awareness of this moment now. To believe that thought is how you live in the present – how your body lives in the present, but your mind isn’t here. You’re lost in a very painful dream of a past, with shame and guilt and blame. So, close your eyes, and look at your life, exactly as you live it, only without the thought—“She didn’t give me the job.”

Participant: I enjoy meeting other theatre people and to expand, and to meet people, enjoy…

Katie: Yes, well that’s your job. That’s your job, isn’t that the one you love? The important one?

Participant: Yes…yes. Yes.

Katie: So “She didn’t give me the job”—turn it around?

Participant: I didn’t give myself the job.

Katie: Yes, the job that you love. So give you your job back…to love life, and being in theatre, with people you love to be with, and happy life. And when you see her, thank her. It freed you up to do this job. And the next time there’s an audition, show up! Who knows? Especially if it’s hers.

Participant [laughing]: Yes.

Katie: What else did you write?

Participant: She should have given me the job.

Katie: Is that true?

Participant: No!

Katie: So turn it around?

Participant: She shouldn’t have given me the job.

Katie: So if the universe is friendly, why is it better that you did not, that she did not give you the job? Why is your life better because of it?

Participant: I can look at my fears. They are always underneath, and now they really crop up. It’s not so comfortable, and I feel that it’s on my way now…and that this is my job.

Katie: Yes. It certainly freed you up for that. You might send her a thank you note, and tell her that you loved the audition, you learned more than you could ever thank her for, and next time she’s holding one, to please let you know. This gives you such a close intimate experience with her. It’s wonderful to be close to the people who give us what we really want, whether we know it or not.

Participant: Yes.

Katie: Thank you.

Participant: Thank you.

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