“Frank should be more understanding,” a woman thinks. But this thought causes her enormous suffering, because Frank isn’t more understanding. “That’s what happens when we try to control the world,” Byron Katie says. “And all the time we’re the ones who are not being understanding. We’re not applying it to ourselves.”
Once the woman questions this thought and thoughts like it, she begins to understand that there is nothing she needs from Frank—that the only understanding she needs is her own. As Katie says, it takes only one person to have a perfect marriage.