The Work of Byron Katie

An Exercise from Byron Katie
Part Three of Three

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Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet

Choose a person, time, and place from your "I complain about..." list. As you meditate on that specific person, time and place and begin to feel into the emotions, fill in the blanks below. Use only short, simple sentences.
Briefly Describe Your Situation
Example Situation

This situation took place several years ago. Meditating on that moment in time, I can be there now.

Paul and I are standing in the kitchen, in a heated argument. He’s had four heart attacks, and his doctor has begged him not to smoke. I smell cigarette smoke on his breath. No matter what I say, he lies to me about his smoking.
1. In this situation, who angers, confuses, hurts, saddens, or disappoints you, and why?
Example: I am angry with Paul because he lied to me
I am
(emotion)

(emotion)
with
(name)

(name)
because he/she
(offense)

(offense)
2. In this situation, how do you want him/her to change? What do you want him/her to do?
Example: I want Paul to see that he is wrong. I want him to stop lying to me
I want
(name)

(name)
to
I want
(name)

(name)
to
I want
(name)

(name)
to
I want
(name)

(name)
to
I want
(name)

(name)
to
3. In this situation, what advice would you offer him/her? “He/she should/shouldn’t…”
Example: Paul shouldn’t frighten me with his behavior. He should take a deep breath.
(name)

(name)
(name)

(name)
(name)

(name)
(name)

(name)
(name)

(name)
4. In order for you to be happy in this situation, what do you need him/her to think, say, feel, or do?
Example: I need Paul to stop talking over me. I need him to really listen to me.
I need
(name)

(name)
to
I need
(name)

(name)
to
I need
(name)

(name)
to
I need
(name)

(name)
to
I need
(name)

(name)
to
5. What do you think of him/her in this situation? Make a list. (It’s okay to be petty and judgmental.)
Example: Paul is a liar, arrogant, loud, dishonest, and unconscious.
Enter one judgment per line.
is
6. What is it about this person and that situation that you don’t ever want to experience again?
Example: I don’t ever want Paul to lie to me again. I don’t ever want to be disrespected again.
I don't ever want to
I don't ever want to

Save Your Beliefs List

Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet

Example Situation

1. In this situation, who angers, confuses, hurts, saddens, or disappoints you, and why?

2. In this situation, how do you want him/her to change? What do you want him/her to do?

3. In this situation, what advice would you offer him/her? “He/she should/shouldn’t…”

4. In order for you to be happy in this situation, what do you need him/her to think, say, feel, or do?

5. What do you think of him/her in this situation? Make a list. (It’s okay to be petty and judgmental.)

6. What is it about this person and that situation that you don’t ever want to experience again?

Isolating One-liners to Take to Inquiry

Statement Number One

Statements 2 - 6

One Thought at a Time

Short Simple Sentences

Taking Thoughts to Inquiry

Your Situation

1. Your Number One

2. Wants

3. Shoulds

4. Needs

5. Complaints

6. I don't ever...

How to Turnaround Number 6