Why Can’t We Change?

We all know people, family members, or friends who find change difficult.

We know people who always seem to drift into painful relationships. As soon as they get out of one painful relationship, they begin another. Why can’t they change?

We know people who are afraid of life. They stay at home, wrapped in their shroud of loneliness, wondering why they are so depressed. We know beautiful people who insist on dwelling on a minor blemish to feel ugly. We also know people who are angry because things aren’t the way they should be. Maybe they have a job they don’t like. Maybe their child or spouse is sick. Maybe they can’t stand their neighbors. Maybe they’re angry at God. Why can’t they change?

Some of us are stressed about our finances, work, our jobs, our mortgages. We can’t sleep at night. We are quick to anger. We lose our tempers with our loved ones, our friends, our co-workers. Some of us are addicted to food, drugs, alcohol, sex, money, ideas, you name it. We make resolutions only to break them. We think we disappoint everyone around us. Why can’t we change?

The one thing all of us have in common is our excuses. Every vice has an excuse ready:

– I don’t have the willpower.

– I don’t have the money.

– I’m too young/old.

– My kids/parents/spouse/friends won’t let me.

– I don’t know how.

– It’s not my fault, it’s ______________’s fault.

– It’s not ______________’s fault, it’s all my fault.

We cling to our stories and can’t let go. Just the thought of change is stressful. We can’t change when we don’t really want to.


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